Respite is a break for the family and, just as importantly, an experience for the person staying. Good respite works for both.
It is easy to judge respite by whether the carer got a rest. That matters, but it is only half the picture. The other half is whether the person felt welcome, respected and like themselves.
Start with the person, not the place
Before looking at any option, write down what makes a good few days for the person: the routines that matter, the foods, the sounds and quiet, the people they like around. A short description like this gives a provider something concrete to work with.
Signs that respite is a good fit
They are comfortable
Comfort covers the practical and the personal: their own space, familiar things from home, food they will eat, a quiet place to retreat. If comfort has to be requested every time, it is worth asking whether the setting is really set up for the person.
They are treated with respect
Look at how staff speak to and about the person, whether they are asked rather than told, and whether privacy is respected in personal moments. Respect shows up in small, ordinary things.
Communication works in both directions
The provider should be able to explain how they will keep you updated, how they will understand the person's way of communicating, and what they will do if something changes or goes wrong.
Routines are kept where they matter
Not every routine can be identical away from home, but the important ones, such as medication times, meals, sleep and how the person likes to wind down, should be understood and followed.
Building up gently
For a first stay, it can help to build up in steps: a visit, a meal, part of a day, then a night. A gradual start is often gentler than a first long stay. It also gives you both a chance to see how it feels before committing to more.
Wherever possible, ask the person what they think and feel, in the way that suits them, and take their responses seriously. A person's reluctance is information, not something to be talked past.
Questions to ask before you book
- What will a usual day look like, and how much choice will the person have in it?
- How will you find out about the person's routines, preferences and communication?
- How and when will you contact me during the stay, and who will I speak to?
- What happens if the person becomes unwell or distressed?
- How do you handle medication, and what do you need from me to do that safely?
- Can the person visit first, and can we start with a shorter stay?
- What should we bring, and what should we leave at home?
Afterwards: what to look for
When the person comes home, give it a little time. Ask how it was, and pay attention to mood, sleep and appetite over the next few days, as well as what they say. A short conversation with the provider about what went well and what did not helps make the next stay better, and helps you decide whether it is the right fit.
Respite is one option among several
Whether respite can be funded, and in what form, depends on the person's plan and circumstances, so ask the NDIS, your planner or your support coordinator about the details. You can read about respite at WSS, or make an enquiry if you would like to talk it over.
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About the author
WSS Resources Team
Western Sydney Services.
