Moving towards more independence is rarely one big decision. It is usually a lot of small ones, about mornings, meals, money, getting around and who to call when something goes wrong.
Nothing here is a test you have to pass. It is a way of noticing what you already do well, what you would like help with, and what you would like to try.
Start with an ordinary week
Instead of imagining a new life from scratch, describe the week you have now. Write down what happens from waking up to going to bed, on a weekday and on a weekend. Then sort each thing into one of three groups: I do this myself, I do this with help, or I am not sure yet. The table below gives you a starting point.
| Part of the day | A question to ask yourself |
|---|---|
| Getting up and getting ready | What do I do myself, what do I do with help, and what am I not sure about? |
| Preparing and eating meals | Which steps are easy, which are tiring, and which would I like to learn? |
| Housework and laundry | What do I want done for me, and what do I want to learn to do? |
| Appointments and getting there | How do I get there now, and what would make it easier? |
| Evenings and winding down | What helps me relax and sleep well, and does anything get in the way? |
Copy this onto paper and answer in your own words. Sorting each answer into 'myself', 'with help' or 'not sure yet' is a good way to start.
The 'with help' and 'not sure yet' answers are the useful ones. They show where support could make a difference, and where trying something new might be worth it.
The everyday areas to think through
Food and cooking
Think about what you like to eat, what you can prepare now, and which steps are tiring or unsafe. Some people want help with the whole meal. Others want help with one part, such as chopping or using the oven.
Looking after the home
Cleaning, laundry and keeping on top of small jobs add up. It can help to decide which of these you want to learn, which you want done for you, and how often.
Getting around
Work out how you would get to appointments, shops and things you enjoy, and what you would do if a plan fell through on the day. Practising a route once with someone beside you can take a lot of worry out of it.
Communication and getting help
Decide how you would ask for help and who you would ask. If the way you communicate is not always obvious to new people, think about how you would explain it, and whether it is worth writing down.
Feeling safe
Think about what would help you feel safe at home: who to call in an emergency, what to do if you are unwell, how to keep important information where it can be found. Small written notes near the phone or fridge often help.
Where you can, try things in short, low-pressure ways first: cook one meal with support, spend part of a day managing your own routine, or visit a place before you decide. What you learn is worth more than what you guess.
Questions to work through, at your own pace
- What does a good day look like for me, and what gets in the way of it?
- Which tasks do I want to do myself, and which do I want help with?
- How much support do I want, and at which times of day?
- Who do I want to be involved in decisions, and who would I rather keep informed?
- What worries me most, and what would make that worry smaller?
- What do I want to try that I have not had the chance to yet?
Bringing it together
Once you have a picture of your week and your questions, you are in a much better position to talk about supports, whether that is with your family, your support coordinator or a provider. If you would like help with everyday tasks, you can read about assistance with daily living. If you are considering shared supported living, questions to ask about SIL is a useful next read.
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About the author
WSS Resources Team
Western Sydney Services.
